This post was actually started on May 26, 2011. I just couldn't put my thoughts into words, until today. So here it is, a little late, but done.
Today is Hannah's birthday. Two years ago at 5:40 pm she was born via emergency c-section. Hours later we were told that she had Down syndrome, an unknown heart defect, low blood sugar, possible sepsis, possible leukemia, not urinating, no bowel movement, she might have to be transferred and she might not live. Then the doctor asked if we had any questions and when we didn't respond quick enough, he got up and left the room and hospital. It was another hour before I had enough feeling in my legs to go and see my baby. I was so scared. I wasn't able to hold her, until she was 2 days old. It was awful. To make a long story short, the whole event took me months to process and accept. Actually it took about a year. Now I look back and wonder what my problem was??? She is just a baby and a beautiful one at that. She is doing everything my other kiddos did.
Hannah has made our lives complete. Things have slowed down a little, which has really been a blessing. I am enjoying life so much more now. She is the reason we have chosen to adopt. She has opened up a world we would have never been a part of and has shown us SHE can do anything, just give her time. I can understand the fear these mother's feel when they are told their precious baby has Down syndrome. I remember the first 2 nights lying in bed, waiting for the state to come and take her away. I know that sound ridiculous, but it is true. The last thing I remember about ds, was from nursing school, a simple 4 inch paragraph telling us what it was, how it happened, issues involved and finally that most babies end up in institutions. In fact I remember Dewey asking me if we were up for this and in my mind I thought he was suggesting we turn her over. Later the next day, I realized that was not what he was saying. It wasn't until the 3rd day, when Leslie, from the Down syndrome guild, came and talk to us about all the possibilities that were out there for Hannah, that I realized that I got to KEEP her. I slept better that night, but not until after my 45 minute cry.
Hannah at birth.
Mom holding Hannah, for the first time.
Hannah at 1.
Hannah at 2.
Because we are no longer scared of ds, we welcome it, we are able to open up our hearts and home to this beautiful little lady, Clare. We know there will be challenges, but what child doesn't come with them and they can come in any form, health, education, physical, and behavioral. They each provide there own challenges. We truly feel that this is what God wants us to do and we have accepted his challenge.
If you listen close enough, I bet He has a challenge for you too.
Suzanne
